Wednesday, July 11, 2012
For as long as I can remember I have NEVER been able to do anything on my own. Before I got married (probably high school age) I could go to the bank, doctor, grocery store, mall, movies, ANYWHERE by myself. I always had to have my mom or someone with me. I've gotten a little better... but it's still a pretty big problem. Now I'm able to go to doctors appointments by myself, but that's about it. I never knew why I couldn't do any of these things, I didn't know what was stopping me and why I would freak out at the thought of being alone. This part of me drives Eb NUTS. I have to wait for him to get home and either have him go with me to the grocery store or have him go by himself instead. Eb thinks it's anxiety... I still have no idea, but that sounds pretty accurate to me. I've even tried to leave the house angrily when Eb refuses to go with me, but I just end up sitting in the car in the driveway for a little bit until he eventually gives in. It's pretty pathetic. I've decided that this is something that I really need to work on. It stops me from being able to do so many things. I'm never able to go shopping unless someone is with me, and most of the time there is no one to go with me! I guess it's just going to take a while to get over this... since it's something that I've lived with my ENTIRE life. Eb & a friend suggested that I start small like going to Walgreens and knowing exactly what I want, getting it, and then leaving. Even that freaks me out... Ahh I need to get over this!