Lately I find myself checking facebook or instagram several times a day and thinking to myself, "why am I looking at this again?". These two things are so pointless (for me) and so incredibly distracting. I don't even  have the excuse that I need them to keep in touch with someone that lives far away. Everyone that I could ever want to talk to is just a phone call or short drive away. I decided that I am going to try and go an entire week without using facebook or instagram. Hopefully it will even go further than a week. My babies are only little for so long and they should be my only distraction.

   Sometimes I just need to complain and vent a little. This morning I hit my limit. I need a break so bad. After two weeks of sick kids I am going crazy. Luckily Jude is finally better, but Emery is another story. She hasn't had a fever, but has a yucky cough, runny nose, and is soo incredibly whiny. I'm thinking she might have an ear infection like Jude did in BOTH ears. Yuck. Thank goodness we are taking her to the pediatrician today. I looove our pediatrician. He is so nice and doesn't make you feel like a dumb parent like others do.  On top of Emery being sick she has started the phase where I can't walk 5 feet away from her or she freaks out! She wants to be held a lot and I always have to be in her sight. 
   I need a date night or a date WEEK. The last time E.B. and I went out for a date was 3 months ago for my birthday. We still haven't celebrated our anniversary that was in December because we took Jude out for his birthday instead. Hopefully I can convince E.B. to take me out and hopefully we can find the time! E.B. started school again this week which is great, but it just means more time that he is away. I am so glad he is sticking with his schooling. He is working so hard to get his classes done so he can finally apply for the nursing program. I really am so proud of him! Tomorrow he is heading up to Flagstaff for a day of snowboarding. I guess it's a nice break for him from work and school, but I wish so badly that I could go too! He isn't the only one who needs some time away. It will be a miracle if I make it through this weekend without losing my mind!
  Despite all the things that are bothering me, I am SO grateful for my two little babies and for E.B. I wouldn't trade this life of a mother and wife for anything!

Just Some Baby Stuff.

   I say this all the time... but I NEED to be better at keeping up with this blog since it is basically my journal. I can't believe how big my little babies are getting! I swear Jude is learning new words everyday and Emery is now a little explorer crawling everywhere! Today she taught herself how to crawl up the step in our front room. So much for thinking that I could keep her trapped in that room. Babies have the sweetest cutest most precious little voices. Sometimes when we are talking Jude will whisper a phrase that we just said. I don't know why, but I LOVE that. He has such a cute little voice/whisper. A couple weeks ago when I was calling E.B. , Jude was sitting next to me and he started yelling "A.B." too. Since then it has evolved into E.B. and every once in awhile Jude will start calling him or yell "E.B., E.B., E.B." when he is trying to make E.B. pay attention. Jude likes to change names that he calls people. I started out as Mama and then became Dada. I even get the occasional E.B. I guess Jude just has two Dadas now. So, Jude has been using "Mimo" as grandma for a while now, but now mimo also means marshmellow. So when he says Mimo Mimo Mimo I never know if he wants grandma or a marshmellow. And of course when I say "Do you want a marshmellow", he is thinks  Oh yeah that's what I want even if he was actually asking for grandma. Such a silly boy. The cutest thing is how he says Thank You. Jude is really good at his "D" sounds, so thank you becomes Deen Doo.
   So, Emery has been saying dadada for awhile now and even says mama sometimes, but now she will just jabber on and on in baby jibberish! It is so precious...especially when she had her raspy sick voice. I can't believe my little baby is going to be 9 months this month! When Jude was 9 months, I was barely pregnant with her. It is nice having them close because they play together, and I am sure they will only play together more as they get older! However, I definitely won't have babies that close again! It's too rough on my body and I definitely don't want to risk having a baby even earlier than I had Emery. 
   If anyone read this, I'm sorry. These are just things I wanted to jot down so I don't forget them!

I feel like I have definitely been going overboard with buying things for Christmas. It's all of these dang amazon.com deals and Black Friday/Cyber Monday/Everyday deals! Things need to stop being on sale!! I need to just focus on the true meaning of Christmas and stop worrying if I have enough presents for everyone. 

I saw this video on Facebook today and it definitely made me cry. Is that really lame of me? It was such a nice and beautiful reminder of what we need to focus on during this time of the year and ALL year!

Silly Boy.

Growing.

It's amazing what little kids pick up from observing and from listening to what you say. Jude has this ABC book that has tons of pictures for each letter. We go through this book almost everyday and I will tell Jude what things are when he points to them. A week or two ago  he opened his book and pointed to a hat and said "hat" and then to a duck and said "duck". I was so proud of him!! He can also identify and say "eye" and "golf ball" when I draw them. Last night Jude was playing and he was still in his jeans & shirt, so I asked him if he wanted me to take them off for me. I wasn't sure if he knew what I was saying, but them he walked right over to me and pointed to his shirt. He is getting so big! I can't believe how fast time goes.  We also taught Jude to tell us "agua" when he needs water. Water seemed like a harder word to say, so I just went with spanish haha. Sometimes he likes to be fancy and he'll tell us "ice" when he wants ice with his water. Such a silly boy. 

Nursery

I have finally finished Emery's nursery! She is still sleeping in our room, so it didn't matter that I took a little extra time to finish it up for her. I absolutely LOVE how it came together. 

Here it is!

Potty Time!

I had to post immediately! My sweet little Jude just went peepee in the POTTY!!!!!! I have never been more proud haha. I was changing his diaper and could tell he had to go. So, I placed him on the toilet and said a couple times "go pee pee in the potty" and he did!!! What a smarty pants!

Good Nights.

It's nights like last night that make it ALL worth it. We didn't do anything crazy or spectacular, but it was still so wonderful. In fact, we did chores haha. After Eb got home  from school, he decided to stay home with us instead of heading back out to play basketball (that alone made me soo happy because I barely see the kid!). Then we remembered that we needed to clean out the fridge before I new one was delivered in the morning. So we spent about 30 minutes throwing away old food, rinsing dishes, and organizing the remaining food. We did it together and we both had good attitudes about it. After that we split forces and tackled the next chores on the list. Eb bathed the kids while I ran around the house and straightened it up (something I like to do every night so I don't feel like I live in chaos). The kids were wonderful! Eb filled the bath for Jude and held Emery in the water with him, it was the cutest thing. After that, Jude went to sleep & Emery feel asleep after eating. Eb & I took advantage of this rare opportunity of having BOTH kids asleep at the same time and we made a healthy-ish fruit salad and sat down together to watch a show. It was such a wonderful night! It's so nice to have a peaceful home (because it doesn't happen all the time!!).

Anxiety.

For as long as I can remember I have NEVER been able to do anything on my own. Before I got married (probably high school age) I could go to the bank, doctor, grocery store, mall, movies, ANYWHERE by myself. I always had to have my mom or someone with me. I've gotten a little better... but it's still a pretty big problem. Now I'm able to go to doctors appointments by myself, but that's about it. I never knew why I couldn't do any of these things, I didn't know what was stopping me and why I would freak out at the thought of being alone. This part of me drives Eb NUTS. I have to wait for him to get home and either have him go with me to the grocery store or have him go by himself instead. Eb thinks it's anxiety... I still have no idea, but that sounds pretty accurate to me. I've even tried to leave the house angrily when Eb refuses to go with me, but I just end up sitting in the car in the driveway for a little bit until he eventually gives in. It's pretty pathetic. I've decided that this is something that I really need to work on. It stops me from being able to do so many things. I'm never able to go shopping unless someone is with me, and most of the time there is no one to go with me! I guess it's just going to take a while to get over this... since it's something that I've lived with my ENTIRE life. Eb & a friend suggested that I start small like going to Walgreens and knowing exactly what I want, getting it, and then leaving. Even that freaks me out... Ahh I need to get over this!

Torture.

Two days without sugar feels more like a lifetime.

Why does E.B. buy so much ice cream!?

Busy Busy Busy.

So, this Sunday we will be blessing little Emery and I of course took on the challenge of MAKING her blessing dress. What in the world was I thinking?!?! I never liked any of the ones I saw for sale, so I thought to myself, "well, it shouldn't be THAT hard to make a dress for her"... Yeah right. It's not necessarily the sewing that's hard (yet), it's the fact that I have no time to make it.  Emery is the lightest sleeper known to mankind and when she does nap, it's for about 30 minutes and then she's up again! On top of that, E.B. is either at work, studying, sleeping, or at school... so the only breaks I get to work are when Emery is sleeping for 30 minutes (and Jude is asleep too) or if I have someone's help watching the kids. I'm grateful that I have already had help watching them, because I would have nothing done otherwise. Oh well, maybe she'll just have to go naked :) .

I feel like I've gotten into this daily routine, and it's making me go a little mad. I get up, feed the kids, pump, play with the kids, watch Martha Speaks, feed the kids some more, pump, play some more, put Jude down for a nap, feed Emery, pump, try to get something done, feed the kids....so on & so forth.

I need a little variety... I need a surprise or two (good ones). What I REALLY need is a vacation. Someday...

Such A Tease.

It has been so fun to watch Jude as he's been developing his little personality. One thing that I've come to realize is that he is EXACTLY like his daddy. Jude is one of the biggest teases! When he knows I'm watching, he'll pretend to do something that he knows he's not suppose to & he'll watch me out of the corner of his eye with a little smirk on his face. Such a funny little boy. Then he'll flash me the cheesiest of cheesy smiles like the one below. And no, he wasn't blinking during the picture... he just like's making super squinty faces.  I love it!

Trials.

Those 2 & 1/2  hours that E.B. is home before he goes to school, are the shortest 2 & 1/2 hours of my life.

 I need a break.

First Haircut.

Once Jude started looking like one of the little girls in our ward, we decided it was time for a haircut. Plus his mullet was getting a little out of control & it's probably a lot cooler for him now that it's getting so hot! We decided to use clippers since it would be harder (we thought) to scissor cut the whole thing. To try and distract Jude while we cut his hair we stuck him in his highchair with fruit snacks in front of the T.V. with Martha Speaks playing (one of his favorite shows). That was useless. As soon as we turned the clippers on and started cutting, the screaming started. Jude's arms were flying everywhere, he was screaming/crying, and he kept moving his head. We had to stop and let him calm down a couple times. It probably took close to 2 hours to cut his hair, it was a nightmare! Even though it took forever, I am SOO glad we finally cut his hair. He looks so handsome and not like a scraggly little hick girl anymore! 

{Before}

{Jude's ponytail. We cut it off to put in his baby book.}

{Between hair cutting sessions}

{All done!!}

Life With Two.

Having two kids has definitely been a learning experience & a test of my patience. Trying to juggle the needs of a 1 & (almost) 1/2 year old and a 1 month old can get pretty crazy. If i'm focused too much on Emery, Jude will take that opportunity to make sure I revert my focus back on him. He does this in many creative ways like screaming so high pitched that you'd think windows would shatter, climbing on top of the kitchen table, spilling his milk all over the floor, and kicking the pillow Emery is on while I'm nursing her. He can drive me a little crazy sometimes, but I do have to admit that he is getting better! And I can't blame the kid, he's only a year old and is used to being the center of attention. I feel like a horrible mom sometimes because it makes me sad when I can't give him all of the attention that he wants. Life is a whole lot more crazy now! On top of that,  Eb went back to school this week. He's now gone from 5 -7pm two nights of the week and then from 5-10pm another two nights. I'm sure i'll be able to manage with him gone this extra time, but it's going to require even more patience on my part. Even though I feel like i'm going to have a mental break down most days... I wouldn't change a thing ( I know, how corny). I LOVE being a mom & I LOVE having my two sweet little babies.

Troublemaker.

This is what happens when we turn our heads for literally 2 seconds. He's a fast little boy who thinks he's a daredevil. And yes, that is a sharp metal fork in his hand. He especially likes to practice being a little daredevil when i'm stuck nursing Emery and can't move. It's like he knows he can get away with anything when i'm nursing her!

The Road Ahead...

A lot has happened since my last post! For starters, our sweet little baby Emery arrived! She was 4 weeks early, but completely healthy. This was such a blessing & an answer to many prayers. I'll probably share her birth story in a different post since it might be kind of long. The other exciting thing that happened is Eb finally decided on what he wants to do for a career/what to go to school for! We've been kind of putting off school for him because he was never really sure what he wanted to study. After having Emery, Eb kept talking about how it would be kind of cool to be the person that gives the epidurals. So, after looking at different health career options Eb decided that he wanted to be a CRNA (certified registered nurse anesthetist).  After his mind was made up Eb got right to work figuring out what he needed to do for school to pursue this career. We knew it was going to be a long road with lots of schooling and waiting, but we are up for the challenge! I am so proud of Eb for finding something that he will enjoy doing and for taking the initiative to get signed up for school. We realized that during the 2 years that he'll be in nursing school he will be unable to work. This is going to be the biggest challenge for us, but I know that we will be blessed during this time! It's going to be tough, but I know we'll be able to look back at this journey and see how we've grown and how we've been blessed. I just can't wait to see Eb in his cute little scrubs! :)

{Here are some pictures of our precious little Emery}

16 Months.

I've been keeping this same record (with a picture) every month since Jude was born & thought I'd start adding it to my blog! Sorry if it's long and boring...

Length: 32 inches


Weight: 29 lbs (BIG BOY!)


Physical Changes: Seems taller & seems to be getting some lost chubbiness back. Hair is super long! New tooth to the the right (his right) of his front teeth.


Eating & Sleeping Habits: Typically sleeps from 9pm - 8:30am. If he wakes up at night he is very good at putting himself back to sleep (as long as he can find a binky or his sippy with water). He also typically plays in his crib for a little bit after waking up and then yells for mommy or daddy to come get him out when he's ready.  Takes one 2-3hour nap during the day. Usually goes down at noon or 1pm. Eats breakfast shortly after waking up, lunch right before nap time, snack after nap time, and then dinner with us at night. Loves having oatmeal and bananas for breakfast! (Also loves stealing mommy's cereal). 


New Skills, Accomplishments, & Talents: Can shoot (and make) baskets in his basketball hoop! - Even though he can't even reach the rim! Can climb on all of the couches by himself & some of the kitchen chairs. Can pick up, mount, and ride his strider bike all on his own! Says words like "ball", "more" (mo), "bird" (biwd), "mom", "dada", "balloon" (boon), all gone (aa gone with his arms outstretched, shoulders up, and hands open). Understands commands and questions. Will shake his head "yes" to certain questions. Can identify his and other's nose, mouth, eye, hair (mostly just does nose, but will do the others if he's in the mood). Has become more stubborn like his daddy :). Points to the back of his diaper when he's poopy. Can feed himself with utensils (but makes a mess). Is more snuggly now and will give more hugs. Can identify his cousin Mae in a picture. Gets excited when we ask him do you want to go outside, do you want to go see grandma/pa/Bailey, do you want to see Mae/Justin (friend from ward). Understands so many words like basketball, naptime, food, birds, binky, sippy, blankeys.... the list could go on and on. Will spin around/clap/move shoulders around when we say Dance! He is able to stack blocks SUPER high! Will talk to you like he's telling you a story or something SUPER important or just having a conversation with you in his baby babble talk. Ignores you sometimes when you're talking to him (stares off in other direction), but then gets a silly smirk on his face because he knows he's being silly. 


New Places Visited & New Experiences: Tasted tabasco sauce when mommy and daddy weren't looking (stood there spitting for a good couple minutes and finally let us give him milk/cheese to get rid of the hotness), plays in our neighborhoods splashpad/playground for playgroup. Had fun getting sprayed with hose/taking a "shower" outside when mommy was watering the garden. Tried peanut butter and liked it. Had his first Easter where he was excited to find his basket and search for eggs. Has experienced not being able to be held by mommy whenever he wants due to "bed rest", but loves having his grandmas come over every day to play with him. Doesn't take milk at naptime/bedtime anymore. Can blow raspberries on daddy's belly.


Favorite Things & Activities: Loves watching Curious George, playing basketball, riding in his red car that we push him in, climbing on the couches and sitting like a big boy, standing on his skateboard, throwing balls around the house, putting on our shoes and walking around the house in them, motorcycles, pointing at things (especially when he hears sounds), pretending to use the remote controls, going outside, coloring with crayons (and pens), driving cars or motorcycles on the windowsill/back of the couch, bathtime, brushing his own teeth (or mommy's),  getting sprayed by the hose, chasing Bailey/throwing things at her, stacking blocks, pulling the chain to turn on/off his light, playing with his cousins/friend Justin, to eat whatever we're eating (mooches food from everyone), rubbing lotion on mommy's big pregnant belly/his legs/arms (will rub lotion on his shirt if he's wearing one instead of lifting it to put on his belly), wearing his own shoes, blowing raspberries on daddy's belly/back/arms, pretending to put mommy's hair product in his own hair, throwing everything outside of his crib when he wake up in the morning, drinking out of regular cups (especially if other people are doing it).

Just A Little Miserable...

I am sooo done with the braxton hicks all day everyday. It is so uncomfortable! I spend everyday thinking that I am going into labor and each day gets a little more painful and a little more uncomfortable. I know that this little girl needs to cook longer, but I've had about all I can handle! I don't like not being able to walk around or go shopping, and most of all I don't like not being able to pick up my little boy. I do however appreciate all of the help that we are getting! I am sooo grateful for all of the meals & that Jude has been watched over & entertained. I appreciate the dishes being done daily and especially the house being picked up. I just really can't wait until this bed rest business is done & I don't hurt everywhere.


Sorry for my rambling & complaining!